'No homework' won't make us Finland

Have you seen the 'No homework note' circulating the Internet?  You can take a look at a recent Scary Mommy post here.

Our girls are attending a 'No homework' school this year.  The only nightly assignment for our third-grader is to read for 20 minutes.  In retrospect, last year in Ohio was the same, but no one put a label on it.  I just met a mom with fifth and sixth graders who is having the same experience.  As a teacher (some might add a very mean teacher) I've got a lot to say on this 'no homework' trend....

For a book study a few years back, I read a book called The Smartest Kids in the World.  It's become rather a joke for us since one night I was reading the book while swearing at the t.v. waiting for our district to call off for a snow day. My husband asked if that was how to produce the smartest kids.  I told him to shut up.

According the the author and a bunch of really impressive statistics, the smartest kids in the world are in Finland.  Finland is kicking everyone else's butt when it comes to education.  Of course the book has gone missing during the move, but it had a really nice graph showing test scores and general education-y success.  I recreated it for you here:

One of the reasons attributed to the success of Finland's students was the fact that they don't get homework.  However, there was a lot more.  Teachers in Finland are valued and paid accordingly.  I'm totally making this statistic up, but something like 3% of applicants are accepted into Finnish teaching programs.  Getting into a teachers college in Finland is like to getting into MIT in America.  Finland pays teachers appropriately for choosing their career over engineering or law.  Teachers adapt their lessons to meet the needs of each student.  They have a lot less students than American teachers and are given the TIME to research and plan for the differentiation process.  There is also an element of appreciation for nature and daily time outside that is attributed to the success of Finnish students.

Like I said, I forget the actual details and statistics.  If any Stow people want to weigh in here, please do!  But my take away is that not doing homework is small part of a culture that places a high value on public education and educators.

I have a second problem with the 'no homework' approach.  This approach sends kids the message that they will be fine just doing what everyone else does during the school day.  You are all intelligent, driven people.  Did you get where you are just going along with the status quo?  Success takes effort.  I want my kids to learn that getting ahead requires doing more.  I want doing more to be expected.  

I'm all for family time and playing outside, relaxing and all the other things that 'no homework' allows.  I'm also all for high expectations and scholarships and good jobs.  If we are not going to be getting homework I plan on assigning some of my own.

We don't cry about pants.

Somewhere along the line I picked up the parenting method of beginning what is basically a command with "We don't..."  Here are some examples:
-We don't complain about the food we have to eat.
-We don't always talk about getting new toys, we are grateful for the toys we have.
-We don't call other people "narcissist," that's only for Donald Trump.
-We don't bite our sisters' clothing.
-We don't cry about pants.

If you're five, everything that is not leggings is "jeans" and instantly tear-provoking. Therefore I say "We don't cry about pants" at least once a day.  I should have a tee shirt made. Maybe yoga pants with the phrase emblazoned across....nevermind.

       Jeans.              Also jeans.            Still jeans.  

Sometimes I follow up "We don't cry about pants" by calmly stating (aka yelling) "Some children don't have nice pants to wear.  Some children would love to have more than one pair of pants.  There are children in Guatemala who live at the DUMP and get their pants out of the TRASH!"  It doesn't help.

I want to raise grateful children.  It has been very hard to focus on raising grateful children this summer as we uprooted them and moved across the country. Grandparents wanted to spoil them before they left. We have been massively busy cleaning, traveling and unpacking for the last four weeks and our children have spent waaaaaay too much time on their iPads.  (Incidentally, on their iPads they watch pointless video of adults opening and playing with toys, which they then ask to buy.  This will be the topic of a future post.)  Long story short, our children are currently comporting themselves like rude, entitled little beasts.

Stinker on a plane

Stinker in a box

I'm aware that step one is to model gratitude.  It does not always come naturally to me. As I write this, I realize that I should be thankful for healthy children, grandparents and good jobs. I try to remember to tell my children what I am thankful for, including that I am thankful for them.  I try to casually bring up gratitude in conversations. It doesn't always happen, but my goal for the new school is to give thanks for our blessings and our hard work every day.  Also, to get the moving boxes out of our house.  I'll let you know how it goes.

To get the ball rolling.  I am currently feeling grateful for:
-Friends who made a special effort to say goodbye
-A husband who tolerates my own special brand of crazy
-Our parents who bought last minute tickets or stopped by on an anniversary trip to help unpack
-The fact that Arkansas is filled with the friendliest people on the planet
-Two little girls who even at their beastliest are still pretty great