A New Year's Resolution to Not Raise or Be Bullies

If you've been anywhere near a school recently, you know that the Anti-Bullying message is in full force. It started about ten years ago and by the time I left the high school last year, thanks to the hard work of some very dedicated teachers, I had seen a noticeable improvement in the school culture.

The anti-bullying message has also become white noise.  Students do treat one another better, but they hear about bullying A LOT from kindergarten on. The initial power of the message has worn off and we still have a long way to go.

The fact that our country just elected a man who mocks, belittles or objectifies anyone who is different than him points to a lacking on ALL our parts. We saw a man who made clear his opinion that straight, white, rich men are worth more than other humans, and we elected him president. I am still overwhelmingly sad that a little less than half of America decided the anti-bullying message we pound into our children did not apply for the leader of our country.

Inspired by the upcoming inauguration (on my birthday, no less.  Happy, happy birthday to me) I suggest a new campaign. It's still a working title. I can't decide between "Be Kind. Always." or "Don't Be an A-hole."

Regardless of the title, this campaign starts with us, the parents. Our children know not to be bullies. They might not be sure what that means completely, but they know it's a no-no. Our children have the anti-bullying thing down, but do they really know how to be kind? Do they know that God's love extends to all people and that it is our job to carry that love into the world? Do we all remember that carrying God's love into the world requires ACTION? Anti-bullying implies not doing something and we are all good at that. What our world needs right now is ACTIVE kindness and love.

The other day, my third-grader told me about a scene at her lunch table where some boys were laughing at another boy. He got so frustrated that he threw his sandwich across the table. My daughter told me how she moved away from him. I cringe because I can see this scene play out. The sadness and anger of the boy, the other boys jeering and the girls moving away from the outcast. I know what all those kids become in high school and now I see the beginnings in the elementary school cafeteria.

I told my child that it is her job to speak up for the boy. At the very least she can tell the other kids to stop. She can move closer instead of backing away. Will she follow my advice next time? No.
I'm not dumb, I know how kids are. But I will keep repeating this advice every chance I get. I will look for ways to model kindness toward others.

As we reach the end of 2016 I am hearing a lot of positive messages about love and kindness. They certainly hit an emotional chord with me.  Love is the most powerful force for change in the world. Be the change you want to see in the world. #LoveTrumpsHate. Love and kindness are easy words to throw around and repeat to children. But what do they really look like in our lives? We as parents, indeed as just people, have the duty to figure that out, and quickly. Love and kindness are too essential at this juncture to slip into the cloud of white noise.

In my opinion, love and kindness mean that we don't just treat people the way we wish to be treated. We have an obligation to DEMAND FOR ALL OTHERS the same treatment we expect for ourselves. We should be the voice for those who are mocked, belittled, objectified, down-trodden or suffering. We should look for opportunities in our own daily lives to change what is broken and we should speak the truth to those in power as loudly and as often as necessary.

My wish for myself, my children and for you as we begin a new year is that we find ways each day to put love and kindness into ACTION.